Pissed off. Frustrated. Hurt. Venting. Resentful. Indignant.
"How dare (s)he?"
Frigidity. Apathy. Impatient.
"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY!!!"
::honks car horn for a good 5 seconds longer than necessary::
Antagonized. Mad. Offended.
"Well, they started it."
Violent. Furious. Hostile.
"Fuck off."
"Fuck you."
"Go fuck yourself."
Punctuated by the long period of deafening silence. That'll show 'em.
So much of what I am witnessing in my coaching practice and in the collective consciousness is the CRY OF ANGER.
Anger is a channeled emotion. Often externally obvious, or internally self-punnishing. It's often painful, if not violent emotionally when unchecked.
When you experience anger, how does it show up for you?
What action do you reach for first? Out of instinct or lack of present mindfulness...
For those who are VERY familiar with anger, it can be a sign of depression. If nearly everything is setting off your anger alarm: impatience, crankiness, overuse of sarcasm, annoyance, to the point where that is your "norm" for days, weeks, on end, than it's time to AT LEAST check in with yourself, and even a doctor or therapist.
Anger kills, slowly and quickly. Without an actual resolution and peace.
This is why it's so necessary to explore your language of emotions.
For me, anger presents as slammed doors/drawers, self-punishment, restriction, hateful/venomous language directed mostly to myself and sometimes to others (directly or indirectly).
What I have learned through watching my own behavior, and coaching others through their emotions, is that anger really is a catalyst for action.
Often, it's the masculine balance of correction because it brings so much energy that can be used as fuel.
What must be protected?
What must be restored?
What can I do in service of my anger, not in reaction to?
What I offer today is an invitation to ask yourself:
Who am I with and without my anger?
How often does anger take up my energy?
Instead of reacting, respond personally. Get to know what your anger is telling you. Through acknowledgment you bring awareness to your emotions and that immediately tempers the flare up.
Seriously, just two seconds to stop and listen.
Then, you reclaim your autonomy to make a choice. To resolve the situation and not create a wake of damage. You can channel your energy into HELPFUL action.
