Learn how you feel, and you'll save yourself.

It’s no surprise to me that Mr. Rogers nostalgia is coming full force with that Tom Hanks/Mr. Rogers movie coming out this holiday season.

Literally every single person I work with, from crystals to coaching, are all yearning for a different response than what we experience in our Collective Consciousness: racism, chaotic, violent, sexism, anger, misogyny…

How do we process all this noise? We can find answers in our friend, Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers came to popularity in a similar era of uncertainty and chaos, and he was speaking to the youngest people, children.

I grew up with Mr. Rogers, and there’s a soothing, welcoming, comfort about his presence. His message was always clear: you are loved just how you are, always. And the gift he gives are tools to understand how you feel so you don’t forget that you are. How often do you remember to love yourself?

I see this frequently, there’s discord and drama and resistance in our own lives because we forget to love ourselves and feel our feelings.

What I love about Fred Rogers’ method is that he always approached each emotion casually, as if what you’re feeling doesn’t have to be intimidating or “too much.” He gave practical and calm examples of how to deal with that emotion. It wasn’t political to be emotional or sensitive, it was a part of being human— every emotion is trying to communicate with you if you slow down and listen. Once you can identify that feeling, it helps to talk about it. That’s the basis for sane and mindful mental health.

The lyrics to: “What Do You Do with the Mad You Feel?”

”What do you do with the mad that you feel
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong...
And nothing you do seems very right?

What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or see how fast you go?

It's great to be able to stop
When you've planned a thing that's wrong,
And be able to do something else instead
And think this song:

I can stop when I want to
Can stop when I wish
I can stop, stop, stop any time.
And what a good feeling to feel like this
And know that the feeling is really mine.
Know that there's something deep inside
That helps us become what we can.
For a girl can be someday a woman
And a boy can be someday a man.”

“It’s great to be able to stop when you’ve planned a thing that’s wrong, and be able to do something else instead…” This is some HIGH LEVEL understanding, higher consciousness about this. It’s brilliant because every “bad” emotion wants a reaction from you, and YOU GET TO CHOOSE how you deal with it and still acknowledge how you’re feeling.

Every time I’ve made harmful decisions for myself: binging and purging, in depression, in a fight with a loved one, comes from a time where I knew what I was feeling and wasn’t able to do something else instead because I was so enmeshed in what I was feeling rather than identifying, owning, and making a different choice that honors the person who is loved, by Mr. Rogers and myself.

“When we people can understand our feelings and talk about them, we’re free to be the person we like being,” he said. I certainly don’t like the irate, hot/cold, rage yelling Tiffany I can be and have been in the past. I like being the loving, sweet, caring, calm Tiffany who listens and understands. This Tiffany communicates that she’s frustrated when she’s frustrated, and communicates why. When I feel sad, I can explain what made me feel sad so that I can process it. Mr. Rogers gave us a whole road map of guidance on how to be the person you want and like to be. If you can put into practice learning and talking about how you feel, you can save yourself.

You get bitter or better

My mom has crystal clear common sense. She's highly observant of human nature and how/why people react and respond the way they do.

One observation that she shared with me as I approached 30 was:

"As people age, some lose their sense of humor. They forget how to laugh, and laugh at their self."

How I put it:

You get bitter or you get better.

Now that I am in my 30s and I reflect on how we age, how we are taught to deal with/handle our emotions, it's so easy to see why some lose this sense of light-heartedness. The world can be tough, and it strengthens the ego's grip of temporary satiation:

Consumption of anything but digesting your emotions.

Especially if you're dealing with mental illness like depression (as I have), anxiety, or PTSD or anything in between, there's a line between healing and dealing.

Dealing with your emotions may lead you to feeling defeated, disconnected, or the ultimate dead end: apathy or pessimism that "its never going to change."

Healing your emotions and aging gracefully requires participation, a choice in every decision and moment to try and choose more wisely. This means making choices that help you cope and move you forward, like therapy, medicine (anti-depressants are a good thing in the right prescriptive settings), and/or coaching.

Most importantly, the world is filled with gravitas, a weighted, anchor, that can feel like moving forward can't be done. Maybe that's what the powers at be want: to keep us imprisoned from feeling like there's possibility. So, what can you do?

Be brave. Be courageous in your choices and resolve to move forward, identify how your feeling and why, and to stay bright. Be careful not to placate your despair with unchecked positivity -- I am all about being rational as I am about emotional intelligence.

Choosing to look for joy in the impossible is a great act of liberation. It leads to action to inspire and heal yourself and others.

TO FACE YOUR FEARS, YOU MUST LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF FIRST FOR HAVING THEM.

This means letting go of the shame, guilt, sadness, and anger.

Rather than #vaguebook, I will share some of what I have been through in the last 5 years (some days it feels like 5 lifetimes of shit):

*Two toxic 9-5 jobs with one that had manipulatively untrue allegations launched against me, and an exec who's micromanagement style caused over 50% of the team to turnover in 1.5 years

*A period of spiritual growth period that left me feeling very alone, shamed and judged. I had to learn some tough lessons including causing irreparable damage to some of my longest relationships. This shift has culled some people out of my life, and it's completely transformed and DEEPLY ENHANCED the relationships in my life.

*A weight loss journey that caused a problem with binge eating and was a diagnosable eating disorder. From which, recovering from this was the greatest form of healing on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level.

*A brain injury where people questioned my chronic illness and resulting depression. It has taken all my faculties to learn kindness and love from within as a result.

After years of deep sadness, hurt, and shadow searching time, I crave light. I spent time in darkness feeling scared that my experiences, my own journey of who I am now, would disconnect me from people. When really, it's the opposite. The heavy emotions you are feeling are normal. And, they're revealing something to you.

You may feel like you're the only one in the world who gets it, and while that's true sometimes, sharing what your feeling and what your needs are is the first step to coming out of the darkness and slaying the fear dragon. You must forgive yourself for feeling "broken" or "damaged". Forgive yourself for the anger, the guilt, and the shame that you are feeling because these are deeper lessons which uncover how bright your Light is and where you keep Love. 

As I have learned through my own Saturn Return and Dark Night of Soul, as well as coached many people through these periods of their life, what's best is to allow yourself to be heard. I listen. I hold space. I help translate these emotions in a language your heart, mind, and soul can understand. As we venture deeper into our conscious awareness of how we show up in the world, we can connect to more of the magic around us. We can dial into our intuition, our strength of sensibilities, and connect more authentically to those around us. 

In this period of time, I can say resolutely that we need more authenticity. More people willing to share what they've learned and what they're going through. The best part? Doing it on your own terms in a space that makes you feel safe. Yes, relationships may evolve, but as you dig deeper into what makes you work, how you feel, you will attract better aligned relationships with people who understand, empathize, and love and support you. This is when abundance happens!

It all starts with forgiveness. 

If you're ready to let go of shame and guilt, and get living life with happiness and joy, let's get on the phone and talk. I always offer complimentary intro sessions to see if how I may be of service to help unstick you in the cycle of shame.