All problems stem from separation; therefore the solution is connection.

All problems stem from separation; therefore the solution is connection.

This is one of my favorite tenets from Transformational Life Coaching.

Think about this concept: when was the last time you felt left out? Not smart enough? Ostracized? Neglected a friendship? Or even contemplated "not being around"?

These feelings come from a sense of not belonging, lacking, or removed from where or how we want to be accepted. It's a lonely place to be in. It can lead to widening gaps of separation because of associated feelings of bitterness, anger, or withholding forgiveness. These create bigger walls of distance, which eventually can create a point of no return. Think about a relationship that ended (friendship, with a family member, or partner). What sparked the distance? Could it have been avoided through connection and listening?

I have been letting this idea marinate for a couple of weeks, and it's created some profound insights about my own behavior and the relationship I have with myself and others. I thought I would share to offer connection or empathy for anyone who's feeling alone or separated.

We all have our walks to walk, and you don't need to walk in isolation. Sometimes sharing what you've recently gone through makes this world a bit more authentically interconnected.

How do I know if I am feeling disconnected?

There are a number of ways this can look like: electing to "hibernate" or "stay in" socially. You can feel fatigued or always "SO BUSY". It can also be the mask that we wear to ensure we feel safe and in our own bubble, even though the mask is not an authentic expression of who we really are.

How do I resolve this disconnection?

Everyone is different. For me, my disconnection usually stems from my ego mind warping a situation and creating an illusion as to what I experienced. Typically, I feel like I did something radically wrong or acted inappropriately. To an extent, yeah, that does happen, but my ego mind can really blow this out of proportion. Personally, I find that walking barefoot outside (sometimes called Earthing) is a tangible feeling of connection to the bigger picture. This is a not a new concept, rather it's quite primitive. The theory is that our bodies are designed to come into contact with the Earth on regular basis. In doing so, all of the positive electrons in the form of "free radicals" build up in our bodies and direct contact with the ground neutralizes them with a negative charge. By connecting with the earth, I feel more grounded and clear headed. I can sift through the feelings of what is real and tangible versus what's unnecessarily amplified. This provides me the first step towards reconnection. By having the self care time for reflection, I feel more connected to myself and therefore can reconnect with others. 

Not a fan of walking barefoot outside? Find a sacred space that you can sit quietly or relax (a bath, favorite chair, etc.). Get in touch with what's been going on. Ask yourself:

*When did this funk first happen?

*How have you disconnected? Where has it helped (maybe certain people or situations)? Where has it left you feeling alienated?

*Is there a person, place, or thing, that inspires you? Where you feel like your most authentic version of yourself?

I ask myself these things while outside--but you can do this anywhere as long as it's in a place where you can be honest.

You are the only audience. Be surprised by what you hear. Feel whatever comes up. 

After getting to the root of your disconnection, come up with one manageable thing you know you can accomplish. Reaching out to a friend and opening up about what you've been going through. Take part in a new, or long dusted, hobby. Write a Facebook post of gratitude. These kinds of activities remind you that you're not alone. As someone who frequently has felt this separation, taking small steps towards reconnection helps immensely--as long as you are caring for yourself and checking in with what rings true on the inside. If you're finding the disconnection is a dangerously dark place, like suicide, there's help. There's NO SHAME in getting help--I have. 

You are not alone, and empathy exists in this world to support you. All problems, big and little, can be resolved through connection and empathetic compassion. Take a deep breath. You got this. 

Associated crystals (what helps me reframe and connect): Black Tourmaline and Ocean Jasper

Black Tourmaline: helps to ground out negativity

Ocean Jasper: brings an uplifiting and positive attitude to approach feelings of depression and anxiety